Surat seorang Programmer

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 10:32 AM 1 comments

Seorang programmer mengirimkan surat berikut :
Yth. Customer Support,
Saya sangat membutuhkan bantuan. Baru-baru ini saya melakukan upgrade program Girlfriend 7..0 ke Wife 1.0 dan diluar perkiraan saya ternyata program baru ini mulai melakukan proses pembuatan sub program Child 1.0 dan juga mulai memakan waktu dan sumber berharga lainnya. Hal ini tidak dicantumkan di brosur produknya.. Sebagai tambahan Wife 1.0 juga mengacaukan program lainnya, memasukkan dirinya ke dalam proses start up harian dimana secara otomatis memonitor semua aktivitas system seperti sebuah Virus. Program saya lainnya seperti Hang Out Cafe© 2.5 atau Friday Nite Party 311 tidak lagi bisa berjalan dan menyebabkan system menjadi crash setiap kali dilakukan. Saya mencoba menjalankan Lazy Saturday 5.0 atau Sleepy Sunday 4.2 namun juga tidak dapat dijalankan, bahkan program Saturday Shopping 3.0 atau Sunday Home Cleaning 3.11 yang muncul. Sepertinya saya tidak bisa membuat Wife 1.0 bekerja di background sementara saya mencoba menjalankan aplikasi
favorit saya lainnya. Saat ini saya sedang berfikir untuk kembali ke Girlfriend 7.0 dan melakukan Uninstall program Wife 1.0 namun tidak bisa..
Mohon bantuannya, Programmer
Sehari setelah dia mengirim email itu, dia mendapat jawabannya yang isinya :
Yth. Bapak Programmer,
Ini adalah masalah yang sering muncul dari kesalahpahaman yang mendasar sekali.. Banyak orang yang melakukan upgrade program Girlfriend 7.0 ke Wife 1.0 berfikir bahwa Wife 1.0 adalah tipe Utility & entertainment Program. Sedangkan hal yang sebetulnya Wife 1.0 adalah Operating System, dirancang oleh Programmer kami di HEAVEN UNLIMITED COMPANY untuk menjalankan semuanya. Anda tidak bisa menghapus Wife 1.0 dan kembali ke Girlfriend 7.0. Wife 1.0 tidak dirancang untuk ini karena jika dipaksakan untuk dilakukan dapat menyebabkan system anda
berantakan. Kami merekomendasikan tetap menggunakan program Wife 1.0 dan coba menghadapi beberapa hal yang Anda anggap sebagai kesulitan sebaik mungkin. Beberapa tips dari kami jika ada suatu masalah, coba jalankan semua recovery program yang ada di folder C:\APOLOGIZE, seperti Say Sorry 8.0 or Hug & Kiss 9.0. Walaupun beberapa orang menganggap Wife 1.0 adalah suatu program yang butuh perawatan tinggi, banyak juga orang yang tahu bahwa program ini dapat menjadi sangat menyenangkan. Untuk memperoleh manfaat maksimal program Wife 1.0 ini, Anda dapat mencoba membeli add-on program seperti Listening 5.0, Flowers 2.5 atau Chocolates 1.3. Dalam hal apapun kami sangat tidak merekomendasikan untuk install program
Secretary 1.0 (Short Skirt Version) karena program ini sangat tidak kompatibel dengan Wife 1.0 dan hampir dipastikan akan menyebabkan system menjadi crash.
Semoga dapat membantu, Customer Service

Mr Rabbit Exercies

Posted by Djiwa at 7:44 PM 0 comments

1st: Warming up
sam fu kap~~~~~~~~~
kap hei~~~~~~`
fu hei~~~~
ok. now can FONG PEI ~~~
(must read in cantonese)

2nd: Stretching
pom cak cak pom cak cak...




3rd: the upper body exercise





4th: lower body exercise (moving to left and back)





5th: lower body exercise (moving to right and back)





6th: Head exercise (make sure to do the 2nd part, it works!)
LV1:





LV2:
i got TIE TAO GONG!!!
ai...cah~~~~~~~~



7th: whole body exercise
LV1





LV2





LV3
i wana buang all SUI HEI...




8th: Jumping exercise: The Pose is the key! but remember to jump!





9th: relax
LV1





LV2





LV3 over: Well done!
money money come...
money money come.....
must follow all the step ya...

Garing

Posted by Djiwa at 7:18 PM 0 comments

Apa bedanya pemurung dg pemulung?
Pemurung tidak pernah merasa gembira, sedangkan pemulung tidak pelnah melasa gembila

Kenapa mayat dibungkus kain putih?
Pake hitam...??? siapa takut!!!!

Kenapa Afrika negaranya miskin?
Karena terlalu sibuk ngeriting rambut

Olah raga apa yg paling berat?
Catur. Masa kuda ama benteng diangkat-angkat

Siapakah presiden RI yg terseksi?
Pa ha Bibi

Kenapa stir mobil letaknya kalau 'nggak dikanan ya dikiri. Kok nggak ditengah?
Biar gampang kalau mau ngeludah

Kenapa Sri Rama memilih Sinta?
Karena kulit Santi tak seputih kulit Sinta

Kenapa Superman celana dalamnya merah?
Karena lupa pake pembalut

Kenapa Superman bajunya pake huruf S?
Karena kalau pake M atau XL kegedean

Kenapa superman gak kawin ama wonderwoman?
Ya emang nggak jodoh

Kenapa Batman lambangnya bukan B?
Karena udah dipake sama Bobo..

Batman kalo tidur dimana hayo ?
Bedcover

Kenapa suku Irian memakai koteka?
Karena kalau pakai daun pisang ntar dikira lontong

Kenapa kijang tiada duanya?
Karena indosiar memang untuk anda

Bahasa Inggrisnya nasi apa?
Rice,
Bahasa Inggrisnya panjang apa?
Long
Kalau bahasa Inggrisnya nasi panjang apa?
Lontong

Kenapa di dalam bajaj nggak ada nyamuk?
Karena nyamuk sini cuma takut tiga roda

Siapa wanita Indonesia yg paling kuat?
Nyonya Meneer, berdiri sejak th.1918

Apa bedanya aku dan kau?
Aku dan kau, jelekkan kau (nyanyiin pake lagu susu dancow)

Kenapa kalo lagi mikir orang suka megang jidatnya?
Ya iyalah, masa megang jidat orang laen!

Benda apa yang paling matree?
Telepon umum khan, kalo dikasih uang baru mau kerja

Apa bedanya sarung dan kotak?
Kalau sarung itu bisa kotak-kotak kalau kotak tidak bisa sarung-sarung

Ada dua orang bapak dan dua orang anak, mereka pergi ke hutan untuk berburu kancil, sialnya mereka hanya dapat tiga ekor, tetapi waktu kembali ke rumah, masing-masing membawa satu
ekor. Mungkinkah atau mustahil???
Jawaban disertai alasan: yang pergi berburu hanya 3 orang.
seorang kakek, seorang ayah dan seorang anak, tul nggak?

Tiang apa yang enak?
Tiang-tiang minum te!

Naiknya cepet, turunnya lambat banget ...?
Ingus!

Tank apa yang moncongnya ke bawah?
Tankurep,

Nembak lantai kena hidung apa hayo ?
Kentut

Sma apa yg badannya gede2?
Sma CK DOWN

Pohon apa yang paling banyak pada hari lebaran?
Pohon maaf lahir dan batin

Benda apa yang besar putih bersayap dan rasanya asin?
Pesawat terbang jatuh ke laut donk

Lemari apa yang bisa masuk kantong?
Lemaribu

Dewa apa yang kesepian?
Dewakto sendere

Ada berapa hurufkah dalam abjad?
Ada 5 (lima) a-b-j-a-d

Apa bedanya wayang, sepatu, dan jengkol?
Kalo wayang ada yg namanya semar, kalo sepatu disemir, kalo jengkol disemur

Kentang apa yang bisa bikin bayi ketawa?
Kentangtingtungtingtangtingtung

Saya ada jeruk lima kamu minta minta satu, sisanya berapa?
Ya tetap lima soalnya kamu nggak dikasih....

Apa yang kalo naik turun, kalo turun naik?
Tukang Beca, kalo jalannya naik dia turun buat dorong, kalo jalannya turun dia naik lagi

Kenapa aspal itu hitam...?
Kalau coklat lo ambil

Mie apa yg bau banget?
Mie kuAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Kenapa orang takut kehujanan?
Coz tuh hujan beraninya kroyokan, coba klo satu-satu, gak ada yg takut khan?

Kenapa liang anus keriput?
Soalnya dicuci-dicuci, disetrika enggak.....

Orang sibuk paling sabar duduk di mana?
Di jamban

Ban apa yang bisa makan, joget, nyanyi, dan ngomong?
Banci

Uang kalau dilempar jadi apa?
Jadi rebutan

Sepatu biru kecebur di Laut Merah jadi apa?
Jadi luntur

Kenapa batu kalau dimasukkan ke air tenggelam?
Soalnya batu enggak bisa berenang!

Ada nggak buah rambutan yang berbahaya kalau kita makan?
Ada, kalau makannya di tengah jalan tol!

Apakah ilmu pasti itu? Ilmu yang melarang soal-soal seperti ini:
satu ditambah satu barangkali dua, dsb!

Supaya enak biji nangka dimasaknya bagaimana?
Cari biji nangka yang paling kecil. Terus 1 biji itu dibelah 8. Salah satu potongannya direbus. Setelah matang dimakan dengan 3 potong ayam goreng. Setelah habis, minumlah juice durian. Pasti enak!

Bagaimana orang cadel ketawa?
Teltawa telkekeh kekeh

Sebutkan perbedaan segelas es campur dengan segelas air putih?
Kira-kira lima ratus rupiah!

Bagaimana cara yang paling cepat menggemukkan badan?
Masuk ke sarang lebah!

Kalau hitam dibilang bersih, kalau putih dibilang kotor?
Papan tulis!

Apa persamaan uang dan rahasia?
Dua-duanya susah dipegang!

Selalu diam di pojok tapi selalu keliling dunia?
Perangko!

Bagaimana cara melipat gandakan uang dengan cepat?
Taruh di depan kaca!

Polisi melihat sopir truk di Rambu larangan tetapi tidak menangkapnya. Kenapa?
Karena sopir truk itu sedang berjalan kaki!

Apa namanya orang yang membawa 3 ekor kelinci di kepalanya?
Orang enggak ada kerjaan!

Siapa yang potong rambut tiap hari tapi tidak botak?
Tukang pangkas!

Yang membuat tidak membutuhkannya. Yang membeli tidak memakainya. Yang memakai tidak memesannya? Apa itu?
Batu Nisan!

Yang jual enggak doyan, yang doyan enggak beli, yang beli enggak doyan?
Rumput (makanan sapi).

Apa beda matahari sama bulan?
Matahari ada diskon, bulan enggak ada

Kenapa Bumi makin panas?
Karena Matahari buka cabang dimana-mana

Gimana cara terbang ke matahari tanpa kepanasan?
Perginya malam hari

Apa yg dikatakan orang bisu pertama kali bisa ngomong?
Tes.. tes... 1 2 3 dicoba.., Sound Check, Sound Check....!

Apa yg luarnya mulus dalamnya amburadul?
Nenek-nenek naek mercy

Buah apa yang gak punya otak?
Semua buah dong

Apa perbedaan antara apel dan upil?
Kalau apel ditaruh di atas meja. Kalau upil dioles di bawah meja

Kenapa meja bagian bawahnya selalu kasar, tidak sehalus bagian atasnya?
Karena bagian bawah meja banyak upil yang udah kering.

Buah apa yg berakhiran huruf "K"?
Mangga busuk, pepaya busuk, apel busuk....

Rambut putih namanya uban, rambut merah namanya pirang, kalo rambut hijau namanya apa? Rambutan belum mateng...

Apa bedanya jam 12 siang ama' jam 12 malem?
Kalo jam 12 siang bunyinya neng, neng, neng
Kalo jam 12 malem bunyinya neeeng, neeeng...pintunya bukain neeeng...

Apa perbedaan rok dg roket?
Roket makin keatas makin nggak kelihatan, kalau rok makin keatas makin kelihatan

Majalah apa yang paling mahal?
Bobo sama Gadis (kalo ga ngerti, jangan tanya ama tukang majalah!)

Apa bedanya sekretaris baik sama sekretaris seksi?
Sekretaris baik "selamat pagi pak"
Sekretaris seksi "sudah pagi pak"

Apa persamaannya bayi ama snack canasta?
Sama-sama dibikin pake tongkat ajaib

Apa persamaan antara ASI dan air mineral?
Sumbernya sama, dari pegunungan

Apa beda susu cap nona dg susu nona?
Kalau susu cap nona kental manis.
Kalau susu nona kental-kentul lebih manis

Apa bedanya tentara dengan pembalut?
Kalo tentara disiplin, kalo pembalut diselipin

Apa perbedaan bulan madu pertama dan bulan madu kedua?
Kalau bulan madu pertama istrinya yg teriak "haaaa.....besar banget"
kalau bulan madu kedua suaminya yg teriak "haaa..... besar banget"

Apakah perbedaan antara seorang pahlawan dan seorang perawan?
Pahlawan berjuang sampai titik darah penghabisan, sedangkan perawan berjuang hingga titik darah yg pertama

Apa bedanya burung cendrawasih dg perempuan?
Burung cendrawasih adalah burung surga, sedangkan perempuan adalah surga burung

Burung apa yang nempel di tembok?
Burungnya cicak

Kentutnya ADE RAY bunyinya gimana?
Brotot..brotot...brottot

Sandal apa yang paling enak?
Sambal terasi

Apa perbedaan aksi dengan demo?
Kalo aksi rodanya empat kalo demo rodanya tiga

Item, gede sekali, buluan, & manis...?
Manisan Kingkong

Begoan mana, Batman apa Superman?
Begooan Batman, udah tau gak bisa terbang masih pake sayap

Apa persamaan Pangeran Dipenogoro dengan Cut Nyak Dien?
Sama-sama nggak punya handphone

Mengapa sepeda motor mereknya "yamaha"?
Sebab bikinan Jepang. Kalau bikinan Arab mereknya "yamahmud"

Cewek kalo' jualan apa kelihatan susunya ?
Jualan susu

Hewan apa yg nyampe pertama kali di bulan?
Burungnya Neil Amstrong

Apa bedanya jatuh dari lantai 1 dengan jatuh dari lantai 13?
Kalau dari lantai 1, bunyinya "bruuk...aaa...",
Kalau dari lantai 13 bunyinya "aaa...bruukkk..."

Pintu apa yg di dorong2 sama 10 orang nggak bakal terbuka?
Pintu yang ada tulisannya "TARIK"

Lubang apa yang paling kecil di dunia?
Lubang pantat. Angin aja kalo mau lewat mesti menjerit

What's the meaning of control?
Alat vital

Nyarinya susah, setelah dapet, langsung dibuang. Apaan?
Ngupil

Kenapa laki-laki senang berpikir dan perempuan senang ngomong?
Karena laki-laki punya 2 kepala, perempuan punya 2 mulut.

Apa sebabnya goreng ikan gosong, orang jatuh kesumur mati, dan perempuan bisa hamil? Karena terlambat ngangkat

Teka-teki Binatang

Posted by Djiwa at 7:04 PM 0 comments

Bebek apa yg jalannya selalu muter ke kiri terus?
Bebek dikuncistang

Kenapa Bebek goreng enak rasanya?
Karena ada huruf 'B' nya, coba kalo nggak ada, berani makan?

Ada bebek 10 di kali 2 jadi berapa?
8, soalnya yg 2 lagi maen di kali, kan?

Hewan apa yg bersaudara?
Katak beradik

Kenapa anak kodok suka loncat-loncat?
Biasalah... namanya juga anak-anak. Suka iseng..

Hewan apa yg paling aneh?
Belalang kupu-kupu. Soalnya kalo siang makan nasi kalo malam minum susu

Hewan apa yang namanya 2 huruf?
U dan g

Apa yang mempunyai kaki enam dan bisa terbang?
Tiga ekor burung!

Bagaimana caranya mencegah anjing supaya tidak kencing di jok belakang?
Pindahkan ke jok depan!

Punya delapan kaki tapi yang dipakai Cuma empat?
Seekor kuda yang sedang ditunggangi dua orang!

Siapa yang selalu jadi korban pemerasan?
Sapi perah

Bagaimana Membedakan Zebra Jantan Dengan Betina
Zebra Jantan Aslinya Berwarna Hitam Garis - Garisnya Putih,
Zebra Betina Aslinya Berwarna Putih Garis - Garis Hitam

Kalau dipukul yang mukul malah kesakitan?
Nyamuk yang lagi nempel di hidung!

Tikus kalo ulang taon minta hadiah apa?
Sepeda (bodo!! yg ulang taon khan dia.. jadi terserah dong..)

Gimana caranya tau di dalam kulkas ada tikus?
Liat dulu.. di luar kulkas ada sepeda ga?

Berapa jumlah kaki seekor kerbau?
Delapan (8) yaitu: dua kaki kiri, dua kaki kanan, dua kaki depan, dan dua kaki belakang

Hitam, putih, merah, apakah itu?
Zebra abis dikerokin

Monyet apa yg rambutnya panjang?
Monyet gondrong

Binatang apa yang kalau lagi pilek paling menderita?
Gajah (bayangin aja sendiri)

Gajah apa yang belalainya pendek?
Gajah pesek

Apa persamaannya gajah dan tiang listrik?
Sama2 nggak bisa terbang

Gimana caranya 5 ekor gajah naek sedan?
2 di depan 3 di belakang

Ikan apa yg matanya banyak sekali?
Ikan teri 1 kilo

Ikan apa yang paling menderita?
Ikan ngga bisa berenang

Ikan apa yg nggak bisa berenang?
Ikan goblok

Binatang yg paling dibenci anjing laut?
Kucing laut

Apa bedanya kucing ama kucring?
kalo kucing kakinya empat, kalo kucring kakinya emprat

Bola apa yang mirip kucing?
Bola emon

Kenapa ayam kalo berkokok matanya merem?
Karena udah hapal teksnya

Ayam apa yg besar?
Ayam semesta

Kenapa ayam jago ngga punya tangan?
Sebab ayam betina ngga punya susu

Ada ngga ayam yang berkokok siang-siang?
Ngga ada, yang ada berkokok ku..ku..ru.yuuuukk...

Barang apa yang lebih berguna setelah pecah?
Telur

Ada ayam jantan pala'nya ada di amerika ekornya di afrika, sayapnya di Jakarta, matanya ada di brazil, telurnya ada dimana?
Ayam jantan mana ada sih yang Bertelor...

Ayam apa yg bertelur dimana aja?
Ayam betina

Telor apa yg paling enak?
Telor yg lagi gatel trus digaruk-garuk

Telor apa yg sangar?
Telor asin, soalnya ada tatonya

Telor asin takut ama sapa?
Ama telor puyuh, sebab tatonya lebih banyak

Telor puyuh takut ama sapa?
Ama telormu, abis punyamu bawa pistol seeh!

Kenapa anak babi kalo jalan nunduk?
Karena malu punya ibu seekor babi

Kenapa anak kelinci kalo jalan suka lompat-lompat?
Soalnya dia seneng ibunya bukan babi

Apa beda unta dg kangkung?
Kalo unta di arab, kalo kangkung di urap

POLITIK

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 10:36 AM 0 comments

Seorang murid sekolah dasar mendapat
pekerjaan rumah dari gurunya untuk
menjelaskan arti kata POLITIK. Karena
belum memahaminya, ia kemudian bertanya
pada ayahnya.


Sang Ayah yang menginginkan si anak
dapat berpikir secara kreatif kemudian
memberikan penjelasan, "Baiklah nak,
ayah akan mencoba menjelaskan denga
perumpamaan, misalkan Ayahmu adalah
orang yang bekerja untuk menghidupi
keluarga, jadi kita sebut ayah adalah
investor. Ibumu adalah pengatur
keuangan, jadi kita menyebutnya
pemerintah. Kami disini memperhatikan
kebutuhan-kebutuhanmu, jadi kita
menyebut engkau rakyat. Pembantu, kita
masukkan dia ke dalam kelas pekerja, dan
adikmu yang masih balita, kita
menyebutnya masa depan. Sekarang
pikirkan hal itu dan lihat apakah
penjelasan ayah ini bisa kau pahami?"


Si anak kemudian pergi ke tempat tidur
sambil memikirkan apa yang dikatakan
ayahnya. Pada tengah malam, anak itu
terbangun karena mendengar adik bayinya
menangis. Ia melihat adik bayinya
mengompol. Lalu ia menuju kamar tidur
orang tuanya dan mendapatkan ibunya
sedang tidur nyenyak.


Karena tidak ingin membangunkan ibunya,
maka ia pergi ke kamar pembantu. Karena
pintu terkunci, maka ia kemudian
mengintip melalui lubang kunci dan
melihat ayahnya berada di tempat tidur
bersama pembantunya.


Akhirnya ia menyerah dan kembali ke
tempat tidur, sambil berkata dalam hati
bahwa ia sudah mengerti arti POLITIK.


Pagi harinya, sebelum berangkat ke
sekolah ia mengerjakan tugas yang
diberikan oleh gurunya dan menulis pada
buku tugasnya: 'Politik adalah hal
dimana para Investor meniduri kelas
Pekerja, sedangkan Pemerintah tertidur
lelap, Rakyat diabaikan dan Masa Depan
berada dalam kondisi yang menyedihkan."

One smile a day keep a doctor awaeeee

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 10:17 AM 0 comments

Takkan lari Nunung dikejar
Air susu dibalas dengan Air Mail
Sambil menyelam buang air
Ma` lu bertanya, Ma` gue yang jawab
Wong ompong nyaring bunyinya
Ke bukit sama mendaki, ke lurah bikin KTP
Nasir sudah menjadi tukang bubur
Ada ubi, ada talas, ada pisang rebus
Tak ada maling yang tak retak
Alonalon asal kelakson
Karena nila setitik rusak susunya
Cepat kaki, ringan tangan
Tak ada rotan Raam Punjabi
Maksud hati memeluk Nunung apa daya
keburu digampar

Contoh surat cinta

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 8:00 PM 0 comments

Suatu hari ada seorang pengusaha yang tidak pernah bergaul dengan cewek disuruh ibunya agar mengirim surat buat seorang gadis untuk dijadikan isterinya.
"Akh itu gampang bu !",ujar si pengusaha itu.

Lalu dibuatlah sebuah surat yang bunyinya begini:

Kepada Yth.
Sdri. Irene
di Jakarta
Hal : Penawaran Kesepakatan

Dengan Hormat,

Saya sangat gembira memberitahukan Anda bahwa saya telah jatuh cinta kepada Anda terhitung tanggal 10 Agustus lalu. Berdasarkan rapat keluarga kami tanggal 11 Agustus lalu pukul 19.00 WIB saya berketetapan hati untuk menawarkan diri sebagai kekasih anda yang prospektif. Hubungan cinta kita akan menjalin masa percobaan minimal 3 bulan sebelum memasuki tahap permanen. Tentu saja, setelah masa percobaan usai, akan diadakan terlebih dahulu on the job training secara intensif dan berkelanjutan. Dan kemudian, setiap tiga bulan selanjutnya akan diadakan juga evaluasi performa kerja yang bisa menuju pada pemberian kenaikan status dari kekasih menjadi pasangan hidup. Biaya yang dikeluarkan untuk kerumah makan dan shooping akan dibagi 2 sama rata antara kedua belah pihak. Selanjutnya didasarkan pada performa dan kinerja Anda, tidak tertutup kemungkinan bhw saya akan menanggung bagian yang lebih besar pengeluaran total. Akan tetapi saya cukup bijaksana dan mampu menilai, jumlah dan bentuk pengeluaran yang Anda keluarkan nantinya. Saya dengan segala kerendahan hati meminta anda untuk menjawab penawaran ini dalam waktu 30 hari terhitung tanggal penerimaan surat. Lewat dari tanggal tersebut, penawaran ini akan dibatalkan tanpa pemberitahuan lebih lanjut, dan tentu saja saya akan beralih dan mempertimbangkan kandidat lain. Saya akan sangat berterima kasih apabila Anda berkenan untuk meneruskan surat ini kepada adik perempuan, sepupu bahkan teman dekat anda, apabila anda menolak penawaran ini.

Demikian penawaran yang dapat saya ajukan dan sebelumnya terima kasih atas perhatiannya.


Hormat saya



Pengusaha Prospektif

Wise Word for 2day

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 7:54 PM 0 comments

1. Uang bukan segalanya.
Masih ada Mastercard dan Visa.

2. Kita seharusnya menyukai binatang.
Mereka rasanya lezat.

3. Hematlah air.
Mandilah di bawah shower bersama kekasih kita.

4. Di belakang setiap pria sukses ada seorang wanita hebat.
Di belakang setiap pria yang tidak sukses ada dua..... gandulan...

5. Cintailah tetangga.
Tetapi jangan sampai tertangkap basah.

6. Orang bijaksana tidak menikah.
Setelah menikah mereka menjadi bijak sana dan bijak sini.

7. Cinta itu photogenic.
Dia memerlukan tempat gelap untuk berkembang.

8. Pakaian itu adalah pagar pelindung.
Pagar seharusnya melindungi tanpa menghalangi pemandangan yang indah.

9. Semakin banyak belajar, semakin banyak yang kita tahu.
Semakin banyak yang kita tahu, semakin banyak yang kita lupa.
Semakin banyak yang kita lupa, semakin sedikit yang kita tahu.
Jadi kenapa kita sibuk belajar ?

10. Masa depan tergantung pada impian kamu.
Maka pergilah tidur saja sekarang !

From Buletin Em

Whats UP :D

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 7:43 PM 0 comments

Sebelum Bobo:
6 weeks: selamat bobo sayang, mimpi indah ya, mmmuach.
6 months: tolong matiin lampunya, silau nih.
6 years : Kesana-an doong... kamu tidur dempet2an kayak mikrolet gini sih?!

Pake Toilet:
6 weeks : ngga apa2, kamu duluan deh, aku ngga buru2 koq.
6 months: masih lama ngga nih?
6 years : brug! brug! brug! (suara pintu digedor), kalo mau tapa di gunung kawi sono!

Ngajarin Nyetir:
6 weeks : hati2 say, injek kopling dulu baru masukin perseneling ya
6 months: pelan2 dong lepas koplingnya.
6 years : pantesan sering ke bengkel, masukin persenelingnya aja kayak gini!

Balesin SMS:
6 weeks: iya sayang, bentar lagi nyampe rumah koq, aku beli martabak kesukaanmu dulu ya
6 months: mct bgt di jln nih
6 years : ok.

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : Ya iyalah!! kalau aku tdk cinta kamu, ngapain nikah sama kamu??

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, aku pulang...
6 months : I'm BACK!!
6 years : Si mbok masak apa hari ini??

Hadiah (ulang tahun):
6 weeks : Sayangku, kuharap kau menyukai cincin yang kubeli
6 months : Aku membeli lukisan, nampaknya cocok dengan suasana ruang tengah
6 years : Nih duitnya, loe beli sendiri deh yang loe mau

Telepon:
6 weeks : Baby, ada yang pengen bicara ama kamu di telpon
6 months : Eh...ini buat kamu nih...
6 years : WOOIII TELPON BUNYI TUUUHHH....ANGKAT DUOOONG!!!

Masakan:
6 weeks : Wah, tak kusangka rasa makanan ini begitu lezaattt...! !!
6 months : Kita makan apa malam ini??
6 years : HAH? MAKANAN INI LAGI?

Apology:
6 weeks : Udah gak apa-apa sayang, nanti kita beli lagi ya
6 months : Hati2! Nanti jatuh tuh.
6 years : KAMU GAK NGERTI2 YA DAH BERIBU2 KALI AKU BILANGIN

Baju baru:
6 weeks : Duhai kasihku, kamu seperti bidadari dengan pakaian itu
6 months : Lho, kamu beli baju baru lagi?
6 years : BELI BAJU ITU HABIS BERAPA??

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : Gimana kalau kita jalan2 ke Amerika atau ketempat yg kamu mau honey?
6 months : Ke Surabaya naik bis aja ya gak usah pakai pesawat...
6 years : JALAN2? DIRUMAH AJA KENAPA SEH? NGABISIN UANG AJA!

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, apa yg pengen kita tonton malam ini ?
6 months : Sebentar ya, filmnya bagus banget nih.
6 years : JANGAN DIGANTI2 DONG CHANNELNYA AH! GAK BISA LIAT ORANG SENENG
DIKIT APA ?!

From : DQ

Istri Programer

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 10:07 PM 0 comments

Sebelum memutuskan untuk menikah dengan IT Guys pikir dulu masak-masak dan jangan menyesal kemudian. Makanya perhatikan baik-baik percakapan antara seorang istri dengan suaminya, seorang Software Engineer.
Suami: (Pulang telat dari kantor) "Selamat malam sayang, sekarang saya logged in."
Istri: Apakah kamu bawa oleh-oleh yang aku minta?
Suami: Bad command or filename.
Istri: Tapi aku bilangnya dari tadi pagi!
Suami: Errorneous syntax. Abort?
Istri: Trus, bagaimana tentang beli televisi baru?
Suami: Variable not found...
Istri: OK deh, kalo gitu aku minta kartu kreditmu. Aku mau belanja sendiri aja.
Suami: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Istri: Apakah kamu lebih mencintai komputer daripada aku? Atau kamu hanya main-main saja?
Suami: Too many parameters...
Istri: Itu kesalahan terbesar kalo saya menikahi orang "idiot" sepertimu.
Suami: Data type mismatch.
Istri: Kamu tidak berguna.
Suami: It's by Default.
Istri: Bagaimana dengan gajimu?
Suami: File in use ... Try later.
Istri: Kalo gitu apa posisiku di keluarga ini?
Suami: Unknown Virus.

Qiuiz

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 9:21 PM 1 comments

Personality profiles - All tests

Stress pictures: Check your stress level.

These pictures are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.

The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress. Alleged criminals see them spinning around madly while seniors and kids see them still.

Personality profiles - All tests

Animal test

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 9:10 PM 0 comments

Koala Bear = 2
Polar Bear = 3
Panda = 1

Eagle = 3
Seagull= 2
Pigeon = 1

Cat = 3
Dog = 2
Bird = 1

Hamster = 2
Rabbit = 1
Squirrel = 3

Sheep = 1
Deer = 2
Goat = 3

Dolphin = 1
Shark = 3
Whale = 2

Elephant = 2
Lion = 1
Tiger = 3

Swan = 1
Goose = 3
Hen = 2

Score sheet


Between 8 - 11 points:
You are passive, sentimental, emotional, lack self-confidence, but are creative and rational.

Between 12 - 15 points:
You belong to the fun-seekers, risk takers, adventurous and spontaneous types, but are not very rational.

Between 16 - 19 points:
You are active, like challenges, optimistic, hard-working, and are always working towards a set goal.

Between 20 - 24 points:
You have a strong character and you are aggressive and ambitious. You were born to lead.

Quiz :P

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 7:26 PM 0 comments

Relational psychology tests - All tests

Robin Hood morality quiz

To do the test you must give your honest opinion about morals and honesty of the four characters in our story of Sherwood forest. Forget any preconceived ideas you may about them - this is a different sort of story from all the others.

The sheriff of Nottingham captured Little John and Robin Hood and imprisoned them in his maximum security dungeon. Maid Marion begged the Sheriff for their release, pleading her love for Robin. The Sheriff agreed to release them only if Maid Marion spent the night with him. To this she agreed. The next morning the Sheriff released his prisoners. Robin asked that Marion tell him how she persuaded the Sheriff to let them go free. Marion told the truth, and was bewildered when Robin said that he never wanted to see her again. At this Little John defended her, inviting her to leave Sherwood with him and promising life-long devotion. She accepted and they rode away together. Now in terms of realistic every-day standards of behavior, put Robin, Marion, Little John and the Sheriff in the order in which you consider they showed the most morality and honesty (from most moral to least moral). There is no "right" answer. What follows is an analysis based on which of the 24 possible arrangements you chose. Analysis Who did you list first? Robin, Marion, Sheriff, or Little John? Little John, Maid Marion, Robin Hood, The Sheriff You are fairly broadminded, romantic and reasonably contented. You value kindness greatly and try to live by your ideals. You do not conceal from yourself, or from others, your strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. Men: Perhaps you tend to idealize women and credit them with virtues they don't possess. Women: Your experiences of men have not all been happy, perhaps because you hope for a little too much? This combination represents 15% of total, 15% of men and 16% of women Little John, Maid Marion, The Sheriff, Robin Hood You are the slightly romantic realist. You respect truth, and are broadminded and flexible. Whether you are a man or a woman you are probably a happy person. You like people and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you. This combination represents 10% of total, 9% of men and 10% of women Little John, Robin Hood, Maid Marion, The Sheriff You are a cautious type, neutral, and rather insecure. You would agree with the idea that everybody has his price - and in your own case it would not be high. Men: You are sexually inhibited with an underlying distrust of women. Women: At least one man has made you unhappy, and you are now on your guard. This combination represents 6% of total, 6% of men and 5% of women Little John, Robin Hood, The Sheriff, Maid Marion You are not easy to assess. Basically you are ruled by an inferiority complex and feelings of insecurity. How do you present yourself to the world? An idealist, a moralist, a conformist keeping up with the Joneses? Men: Your conflicting views on sex and morality may lead to every sort of sexual problem. You have always feared women, probably starting with your mother. Women: It is a shame you have not accepted the ideal of woman as the equal (and sometimes stronger) partner of man. This combination represents 2% of total, 2% of men and 2% of women Little John, The Sheriff, Maid Marion, Robin Hood You too, believe that morality is another word for commonsense and suitability, and not something which is universally valid or a religious truth. Your feeling for security is strong, and you would rate reliability as one of your virtues. Men: Your estimate of women as the inferior sex suggests that you are a little uncertain of them. Women: You are more permissive about the morals of others than you are about your own. This combination represents 3% of total, 2% of men and 3% of women Little John, The Sheriff, Robin Hood, Maid Marion You are conventional, unimaginative, and something of a prude. It would be surprising if your love life was a roaring success. Men: You have an old-world authoritarian attitude. One thing is sure: you have some sorry illusions about women. Women: You accept a double standard of morality in which women are very much the "second sex." This combination represents 1% of total, 1% of men and 1% of women Maid Marion, Little John, Robin Hood, The Sheriff We would expect you to be a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others. You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances. Men: Do we detect a sense of chivalry and idealism under the sophistication? Women: You will expect high standards from the men to whom you give your love. This combination represents 13% of total, 13% of men and 12% of women Maid Marion, Little John, The Sheriff, Robin Hood You are essentially a contented person, even if you consider yourself a little superior. You are moral by your own standards, for you believe that morality is what best suits the occasion. Men: You are sexually uninhibited, more romantic than you may appear, and more dependent on the approval of others than you care to admit. Women: You like being a woman, you understand what love is, and frankly enjoy sex. This combination represents 10% of total, 9% of men and 11% of women Maid Marion, Robin Hood, Little John, The Sheriff If you are not happy - and we suspect you are not - it maybe because you feel guilty about your own emotions, and lack confidence in your opinions. Men: No doubt you consider yourself a moral man, and a fair one. Your fuzzy ideas about morality may make their mark on your sex life. Women: You are too concerned about what others think. This combination represents 4% of total, 4% of men and 4% of women Maid Marion, Robin Hood, The Sheriff, Little John You know the so-called facts of life, but not to enjoy life itself. You are not a realist and you are inclined to be stubborn. Men: Women, you think, are either good or bad, and you overestimate the differences between the sexes. A woman may find you difficult to live with. Women: You are not sure whether truth and morality go hand in hand or are in opposition. You don't hold a very high opinion of men. This combination represents 1% of total, 2% of men and 1% of women Maid Marion, The Sheriff, Little John, Robin Hood Such an emphatic rejection of ready-made values is probably partly camouflage. You hate to be thought weak or insecure. You value honesty, and abhor hypocrisy. Men: Women are very much part of you life, and you are - or perhaps would like to be - quite ruthless, both with women and life in general. Women: You are tolerant about men and their failings - but we mean men, for you have no time for boys on men's errands. This combination represents 3% of total, 3% of men and 3% of women Maid Marion, The Sheriff, Robin Hood, Little John You associate morality with honesty and truth more than with religious values. You are impulsive and somewhat unpredictable. Men: We suspect that you are a would-be lover rather than a very successful one. Women: You are a realist and a rebel, a defender of women's rights. You like men but despise weak ones. This combination represents 2% of total, 1% of men and 2% of women Robin Hood, Little John, Maid Marion, The Sheriff You are a moralist with conventional ideas, which some people would call old-fashioned. Men: You probably consider yourself a fair-minded man in a world which falls badly below your standards. Your inhibitions and sense of guilt are in the way of your happiness. Women: Unlucky in love? Perhaps you hope for too much in a man. Be a realist, not a romantic. This combination represents 5% of total, 5% of men and 5% of women Robin Hood, Little John, The Sheriff, Maid Marion You are conventional and puritanical. Men: You moralize and see women as a great conspiracy against man, with sex as their principal weapon. You are missing a great deal in life. Women: Your parents probably played a big part in the formation of such a guilt complex as yours. Your mind is in chains and it's time you did something to free it. This combination represents 2% of total, 2% of men and 3% of women Robin Hood, Maid Marion, Little John, The Sheriff Your philosophy of life is a sad hotchpotch of the conventions of society, your own convictions and romanticism. You are not unkind, only staid and unimaginative. Men: You see women as weak but desirable. Women: You resent the arrogance of men. This combination represents 4% of total, 4% of men and 3% of women Robin Hood, Maid Marion, The Sheriff, Little John You find it hard to accept the permissive attitudes of others, or to convince them of the validity of your own standards. You are not disposed to trust people. Men: To you "love" involves sex and duty, rather than charity and forgiveness. Women: You blame men for the problems in your life. This combination represents 2% of total, 2% of men and 1% of women Robin Hood, The Sheriff, Little John, Maid Marion You have a very chauvinistic and outdated outlook on life. Your values and principles are defined not by clarity of conscience but by popular beliefs. Men: You see women as objects and possessions. You demand complete loyalty and devotion without offering it in return. Women: You see yourself as having only one purpose in life - to satisfy your man. You lack self definition as you derive all of who you are from him. This combination represents 3% of total, 3% of men and 3% of women Robin Hood, The Sheriff, Maid Marion, Little John Men: As a ruthless authoritarian you are as moral as it suits you and no more. You do not apply the same rules to men as you do to women. Women: How worthless you seem to think women are. This combination represents 2% of total, 2% of men and 2% of women The Sheriff, Little John, Maid Marion, Robin Hood You have a confused, immature sense of values. You are erratic and stubborn, and inclined to get angry or sulk when you don't get your own way, but at least you are not a moral hypocrite. Men: "Love 'em and leave 'em" is the motto of a man who is basically afraid of women. Women: Perhaps you would rather be a man than a woman? This combination represents 2% of total, 2% of men and 2% of women The Sheriff, Little John, Robin Hood, Maid Marion Not a moralizing pattern, but.. Men: You share with many other men the idea that most women are fickle and inferior to men. Perhaps a view that you got from your father, or as a reaction to a domineering mother. Women: You have a pretty poor opinion of yourself, haven't you? This combination represents 1% of total, 1% of men and 1% of women The Sheriff, Maid Marion, Little John, Robin Hood You claim to be a realist or even a cynic, but you are more emotional, romantic, and truthful. Men: Although you are by no means inhibited, your amorous adventures are as much a matter of fantasy as fact. Women: You have been hurt in the past by men, or one man in particular, and will probably let it happen again. This combination represents 3% of total, 3% of men and 3% of women The Sheriff, Maid Marion, Robin Hood, Little John If you are not living a happy life, the cause is within yourself. You are a rebel with a trace of spoilt child about you. You value truth above morality, but you are reasonably tolerant of those who disagree with you. Men: Any problems you have are not likely to be centered in sex. Women: Despite your experience and intelligence, you are a bad judge of men. This combination represents 2% of total, 2% of men and 3% of women The Sheriff, Robin Hood, Little John, Maid Marion Although you make a brave show of being self-sufficient, beneath this you are unhappy and rather mixed up. Men: You don't understand women - probably you are afraid of them. You do not know what love is, and you are more likely to boast about your conquests in a bar than prove them in a bedroom. Women: If men attract you at all, they probably are the wrong sort. This combination represents 2% of total, 3% of men and 2% of women The Sheriff, Robin Hood, Maid Marion, Little John Men: The warmth and give-and-take of love are not for you. Your sex life is ringed with unreality, and you neither understand nor appreciate women. Women: If you really believe this is the right order, you baffle us completely. This combination represents 3% of total, 3% of men and 2% of women

Quiz again :D

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 7:19 PM 0 comments

Dalai Lama - The Dalai Lama is said to have put forward this personality test.

See if it works for you. Just three questions and the answers could surprise you. There are no right or wrong answers this is an honest questionnaire which could tell you a lot about your true self.

1. Put the following five animals in the order of your preference. Tiger Cow Horse Sheep Pig 2. Write one word that describes each one of the following: Dog Cat Coffee Ocean Rat 3. Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) that you can relate to the following colors. Do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color. Yellow Orange Red White Green Look at the interpretations below: 1 - The order that you choose defines the priorities in your life. Cow: Signifies career. Tiger: Signifies pride. Sheep: Signifies love. Horse: Signifies family. Pig: Signifies money. 2 - Descriptions Your description of the dog implies your own personality. Your description of the cat implies your partner's personality. Your description of the rat implies the personality of your enemies. Your description of the coffee is how you interpret sex. Your description of the ocean implies your own life. 3 - Colors Yellow: Someone you will never forget. Orange: Someone you could consider a good friend. Red: Someone you really love. White: Your twin soul. Green: Someone you will remember all your life.

Quiz bout animal

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 6:31 PM 0 comments

You have been traveling through the desert for days. You are tired and water is running low. You have with you the following five animals: A cow A lion A monkey A horse A sheep You only have a limited amount of water left - not enough for you and all your animals to escape. If you run out of water all of you will die in the desert. You realize that if you are to make it out of the desert at all, you are going to have to make a tough decision. You are going to have to leave one of the animals behind so that the rest of you may live. Which animal do want to leave behind? You have four animals left. The desert is burning up! It goes on for miles. Your water supply is running even lower than you first thought. You realize, to get out, you are going to have leave another animal behind. Which one do you leave behind? You have three animals left. You reach the oasis but it has dried up! You have no choice but to leave another animal behind. Which one do you leave behind? You only have two animals left. It's a long hot walk. You can see the edge of the desert on the horizon. Unfortunately, you don't have enough water left for three. You can only leave the desert with one animal. Which one do you leave behind? Congratulations! The two of you made it out of the desert! Analysis Each of the animals represent the following aspects of your life. The cow represents basic needs. The lion represents pride. The monkey represents your children. The horse represents your passion The sheep represents friendship. The order in which you sacrifice the animals might be said to represent the importance of these things to you. The one that you sacrificed first is the least important. The one that you kept is the most important and represents what you would hold on to at the expense of everything else.

Quiz bout colour

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 6:06 PM 0 comments

Sexual type - Discover your sexual type based on favorite color

The clothes you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all give clues to your sexual personality. The key is the colors you select for most of your possessions. Most people claim they haven't a favorite color and go on to claim it's black. But look around you, and you'll notice a pattern, especially in your clothing and home decor. The predominant color for you is the one that appears most frequently - it's the one that mirrors the sexual you. This test explains the association between color and sexual patterns.

Choose your favorite color. Brown Red Yellow Black Blue White Grey Pink Green Purple Orange No color preference Analysis Red: People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is ignited, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be aggressors and weaker colors should be aware. Yellow: If you or your partner tend to flavor yellow, your sexual drives are complex and turn toward the adaptable. In most cases the person will consent to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from somebody you enjoy or admire. Pink: Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters: women tend to tease and to promise more than they intend to deliver. Men who like pink are the philanderers and flirts. Women whose husbands like pink should keep a secret nest egg. Purple: Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to be too sophisticated for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to mess their hair. Men are business-like in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes purple partners are more concerned with their fulfillment than anyone else's gratification. Black: A good many people will choose black as their favorite color, without really thinking about the question. They are moody and often perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times. Green: Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex. A man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a charming and endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity. Orange: Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The sex act is regarded as a dramatic one-act play in which they are the star. Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings, meaningless dialogue; they feel it is their image. Orange people often do not experience orgasm - but they put on a good act. Men tend to pull their partner's hair, and women leave red welts on their partner's back. Brown: If you or your partner love brown, you're a real treasure for the right mate. Brown lovers tend to be warm and deep and sensitive to the needs and desires of their partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you can't say "I love you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue are very important to lovers of brown. They need lots of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh word could end the affair. Grey: The color grey a preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't get excited about anything - including color - so they choose a noncommittal shade. They count the cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with. When grey marries another grey, the marriage is a match made in heaven. Blue: Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sinners, affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider love making a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert pianists, delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather than fiery aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking, as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate - never seeking outside interests. White: If a person is infatuated with white, sex often seems obscene. To make love in the daylight is unheard of. Women who love white will undress beneath the covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. No Color Preference: Most people claim they haven't a favorite color and go on to claim it's black, but that's very rare. Try this, think of room painted in only one color. Walls, ceiling, floor and furniture. If you had to stay in it for a few minutes, what color would you like it to be? Now go back to the colors.

Love test

Posted by Lha Bhaka at 6:03 PM 0 comments

Love tests - All tests

Love test - Imagine that are walking to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house...

Get answers to your questions on love with this short quiz!

1. You are walking to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is a straight path which takes you there quickly, but is very plain and boring. The other is curvy and full of wonderful sights on the way, but takes quite a while to reach your loved one's house. Which path do you choose? Short or long? 2. On the way, you see two rose bushes. One is full of white roses. One is full of red roses. You decide to pick 20 roses for your boyfriend/girlfriend. What color combination do you choose? (Any combination including all one color is fine.) 3. You finally get to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house. You ring the bell and the maid answers. You can ask the maid to please get your loved one, or you may go get them yourself. Which action do you take? Ask the maid or do it yourself? 4. Now, you go up to your girlfriend/boyfriends room. No one is there. You can leave the roses by the window sill, or on the bed. Where do you put the roses? Bed or window? 5. Later, its time for bed. You and your loved one go to sleep, in separate rooms. You wake up in the morning, and go to your boyfriend/girlfriend's room to check up on him/her. You enter the room: Is he/she awake or sleeping? 6. It's time to go home now, and you start to head back. You can take either road home now: The plain, boring one that gets you home fast; or the curvy, sight-filled road that you can just casually take your time with. Which road do you choose? Short or long? Analysis 1. Which road do you choose to take to your love's house? The roads represent your attitude towards falling in love. If you chose the short one, you fall in love quickly and easily. If you chose the long one, you take your time and do not fall in love easily. 2. What combination of roses do you choose to give your love? The number of red roses represent how much you expect to give in a relationship. The number of white roses represent how much you expect in a relationship. Therefore, if a person chose all red with one white, he/she gives 90% in the relationship but expects to receive only 10% back. 3. Do you ask the maid to get your love, or do you do it yourself? This question shows your attitude in handling relationship problems. If you asked the maid to get your loved one, then you may beat around the bush, maybe asking a third party to intervene. Avoidance of problems runs high. If you went and got your loved one yourself, then you are pretty direct. If there is a problem, you confront it and deal with it. You want to work it out right away. 4. Where do you put the roses? On the window sill or on the bed? The placement of the roses indicates how often you'd like to see your boyfriend/girlfriend. Placing the roses on the bed means you need lots of reassurance in the relationship, and you'd want to see your loved one every day, if possible. Placing the roses by the window show that you don't expect or need to see your loved one too often. 5. Do you find your love asleep or awake? Finding your boyfriend/ girlfriend asleep: You accept your loved one the way they are. Finding them awake: You expect him/her to change for you. 6. Which road do you choose to go home? The short and long roads now represent how long you stay in love. If you chose the short one, you fall out of love easily. If you chose the long one, you tend to stay in love for a long time.