Robot Pendekteksi Kebohongan

Posted by Djiwa at 5:00 PM 1 comments

Budi adalah seorang profesor penemu ulung, dia berhasil menciptakan robot yang bisa mendeteksi kebohongan, dia membuat robot itu sedemikian rupa sehingga ketika mendengarkan kebohongan, sang robot akan langsung menampar si pembohong itu...

Budi dengan bangga membawa robot itu ke ruang keluarga dan menunggu anaknya pulang... tapi anaknya tak kunjung pulang...

ditunggu-tunggu baru sore hari sang anak pulang...
"Kamu dari mana ? kok pulangnya telat" tanya si Budi
"Ada pelajaran tambahan pa" jawab sang anak

*PLAK* Sang robot menampar si anak...

"Nak, ini adalah robot ciptaan ayah, dia akan menampar siapapun yang berbohong..! sekarang katakan dengan jujur, kenapa pulangnya telat ??!"
"Maaf ayah.. aku habis menonton film di rumah teman..."
"Film apa?"
"Film Sinetron pa"

*PLAK*

"Ayo katakan dengan jujur film apa ??"
"Maaf Ayah... saya menonton film porno"

mendengar itu marahlah si Budi.. "Kamu itu yach ... kecil-kecil uda nakal, mau jadi apa
kamu nanti besar ? kurang ajar kamu yach ... bikin malu ajah ...perbuatan yang
benar-benar memalukan..!!! papa waktu seumuran kamu gak pernah melakukan
hal senakal kamu...!"

*PLAK* Budi ditampar sang robot

Suasana hening untuk beberapa saat...

Istri Budi kemudian masuk datang dan langsung berkata... "huh, sama aja kelakuannya, apel gak akan jatuh jauh dari pohonnya kan ? ya gimanapun juga dia anak elo, jadi "

*PLAK*
Sang robot menampar istri Budi sebelum sang istri sempat menyelesaikan kata2nya..
dan semua terdiam

Belajar dr Keledai

Posted by Djiwa at 1:53 PM 1 comments

Suatu hari keledai milik seorang petani jatuh ke dalam sumur. Hewan itu menangis dengan memilukan selama berjam-jam semetara si petani memikirkan apa yang harus dilakukannya.

Akhirnya, Ia memutuskan bahwa hewan itu sudah tua dan sumur juga perlu ditimbun (ditutup - karena berbahaya); jadi tidak berguna untuk menolong si keledai. Ia mengajak tetangga-tetanggany a untuk datang membantunya. Mereka membawa sekop dan mulai menyekop tanah ke dalam sumur.

Pada mulanya, ketika si keledai menyadari apa yang sedang terjadi, ia menangis penuh kengerian. Tetapi kemudian, semua orang takjub, karena si keledai menjadi diam. Setelah beberapa sekop tanah lagi dituangkan ke dalam sumur, si petani melihat ke dalam sumur dan tercengang karena apa yang dilihatnya.

Walaupun punggungnya terus ditimpa oleh bersekop-sekop tanah dan kotoran, si keledai melakukan sesuatu yang menakjubkan. Ia mengguncang- guncangkan badannya agar tanah yang menimpa punggungnya turun ke bawah, lalu menaiki tanah itu.

Sementara tetangga-2 si petani terus menuangkan tanah kotor ke atas punggung hewan itu, si keledai terus juga menguncangkan badannya dan melangkah naik. Segera saja, semua orang terpesona ketika si keledai meloncati tepi sumur dan melarikan diri!

Kehidupan terus saja menuangkan tanah dan kotoran kepadamu, segala macam tanah dan kotoran. Cara untuk keluar dari 'sumur' (kesedihan, masalah, dsb) adalah dengan menguncangkan segala tanah dan kotoran dari diri kita (pikiran, dan hati kita)dan melangkah naik dari 'sumur' dengan menggunakan hal-hal tersebut sebagai pijakan.

Setiap masalah-masalah kita merupakan satu batu pijakan untuk melangkah. Kita dapat keluar dari 'sumur' yang terdalam dengan terus berjuang, jangan pernah menyerah! Guncangkanlah hal negatif yang menimpa dan melangkahlah naik !!!

Ingatlah aturan sederhana tentang Kebahagiaan :
1. Bebaskan dirimu dari kebencian
2. Bebaskanlah pikiranmu dari kecemasan
3. Hiduplah sederhana
4. Berilah lebih banyak
5. Berharaplah lebih sedikit
6. Tersenyumlah
7. Miliki teman seperti aku ^_^

Seseorang telah mengirimkan hal ini untuk kupikirkan, maka aku meneruskannya kepadamu dengan maksud yang sama.

GUNCANGKANLAH !!!!
"Entah ini adalah waktu kita yang terbaik atau waktu kita yang terburuk, inilah satu-satunya waktu yang kita miliki saat ini!"

Don't Dare To Mock God

Posted by Djiwa at 1:47 PM 0 comments

KNOW THESE FACTS?
I SURE DIDNT TILL NOW
Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death! Make a personal reflection about this..... Very interesting, read until the end.....
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):
"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Here are some men and women who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, wa shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.

Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died ..

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During A show in Canecio (Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you."

He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic .

Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus".

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment .

Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell".

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend..... The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:"My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.." She responded: "Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full "

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact. The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken.

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer)
said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.

In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle

Man&Woman

Posted by Djiwa at 10:08 PM 0 comments

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.